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  • Writer's pictureWooden Elbow

Eminem's New Album, "Revival" Surprisingly Mostly About Puppies

After the verbal attack on President Trump at the BET awards, most shady fans were expecting a political driven rap record. That is not what was given at all.

Slim Shady has always been a master of controversy, stirring the pot just enough to get people angry but never facing any real charges thanks to the first amendment. With rumors circulating about the new album being a political attack on the current President of the United States, Donald Trump, fans were very confused that the subject barely made the album. 10 of the 19 songs on "Revival" are all about puppies or k-9's in some fashion. This has been baffling fans across the world who purchased the new album to hear the familiar gritty and angry lyrics of Marshall Mathers. Below you can find a link to one of the puppy songs called, "I Love Puppies". Its clear that Eminem is not trying as hard as he has in the past, most likely because of the recent popularity of mumble rap. If you haven't heard of mumble rap, you must have been stuck in a coal mine for the past 2 years, and are most likely dead, that's the only way to have missed this effortless and amazing form of music. We caught up with a friend of one of Eminem's friends who told us that he wrote all of the songs because he has always "loved bitches". Makes sense coming from the God of metaphors, but the songs just don't quite add up to being about women. In the song below, Em is literally talking about loving new-born K-9's and "smooching them on the head". Which leads us to believe that he just wants to confuse the world and have a few laughs at our disposal. Judge for yourself, but we at Wooden Elbow News have to agree no matter how silly the songs, the rhymes are unmistakably Slim Shady's. In the song titled "Save The Beagles", he has one of his most epic rhymes to date. "if you don't save it you're sick, just like Michael Vick, with a frozen dog shit ice pick, grabbin his rig, while 2 pits slobber, bark, and get bit." Eminem has never been one to not put passion and anger into his music, no one ever thought that he would land on the subject of cute puppies. Listen to his song below and let us know what you think of the new Eminem. Is he being sincere about his puppy love or is he putting us on?

- Bill Pantsplitter

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