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  • Writer's pictureWooden Elbow

Read This Review Before Watching Star Wars: The Last JEDI!!

I finally got around to seeing Star Wars: The Last Jedi and all I can say is "Whoa Hey Are You, Whaaaaaa You Gotta Be, That Was, NO FREAKIN WAY!" I don't even know where to begin this review, so I guess we will just start with A Long Long Time Ago....

The first big surprise was the decision to stray away from the typical scrolling text opening sequence, and in place go with a retro 60's Go Go style intro reminiscent of the 60's Batman opening scene, or something straight out of an Austin Power's movie (minus the Britney Spears dance battle). I got a kick out of seeing all of those space friends getting their boogie on, and was pleasantly surprised by Mark Hamill's break dancing abilities.

After that things seem to get back on track, catching up right where the last film left off with young Jedi hopeful Rey meeting up with Luke Skywalker. It is revealed here that Skywalker had taken a leave of absence for his Jedi life to pursue his real passion, Naboovian Space Pepper farming. Known for it's combination of heat and flavor, the Naboovian Space Pepper seems to be one of the galaxies "hottest" commodities (pun intended). Rey is all like "Hey, I'm Rey." with which Luke responds "I'm Luke Skywalker, pleasure to meet your acquaintance." and Rey is then all like "You too, you look old." The two then share a secret handshake, a sequence that goes on for a good three and a half minutes. This lets the audience know of the psychic link the two already share. After concluding the secret handshake, the two chime out in unison, "Now we can forever be the best of friends" followed by a double high five. What a wonderful way to set the tone for what continues to be an astonishing work of cinema!

It seems that Disney had worked some kind of deal with Chrysler Automotive in an attempt to bring back the once popular PT Cruisers, as The Empire had numerous fleets of PT Star Cruisers at their disposal. Or perhaps it was a decision based on budget cuts, knowing that PT Cruisers are cheap to get a hold of. Either way they looked freakin bad A!

Another magical moment in the film was the big musical number between Rey and Kylo Ren about being true to yourself and saying no to space drugs, an interesting choice on behalf of Disney that payed of so magnificently, and was a great treat for Star Wars fans young and old.

Woody Harreleson was by far the greatest cameo appearance by far, even though his character had such a short lived existence in the film.

I couldn't get enough of the scenes featuring Yoda's sassy, strong, and independent sister, Pippie, voiced by both Beyonce and Nicki Minaj! A wonderful source of comic relief, and the audio engineers could not have done a better job of melding the two superstar's voices into one harmonious masterpiece. Pippie even does a super groovy rap for the end credits!

They also did away with having any lightsabers in the film as well as giving the classic "Pew Pew" sound of the blasters a much needed update. I enjoy how much Disney is truly updating a classic series and ushering it into a new time for newer, hipper generations to enjoy. Star Wars is definitely not just for nerds anymore!

With all of the divisive reviews coming out about this film I will say, it was ground breaking. Probably even more so than the original movie, and If they continue going in this direction, we won't be seeing the end of Star Wars films for a Long Long Time.

-Gog Solo

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