Father/Son activities are an experience as timeless as humanity itself. From the ancient Peruvian Councilmen teaching their sons the importance of competitive tree shuffling, to the common known practice of having a catch. Father/son events are a right of passage that many debate to be a formative part of every young man's life.
As times are changing, and individuals from different generations are embracing varying ideals, it seems that having what most would hope as a sacred moment between father and son is becoming much more complicated.
This could not be truer for the Tambler family. Charles Tambler and son, Dugan, were set to enjoy a much needed getaway to the family cabin. Charles was feeling bad that he was so involved with his job that he didn't have much time to spend with Dugan. In an attempt to excite some serious male bonding, Charles organized the weekend with plenty of fun filled activities, from Frisbee golf and hiking, to catching, preparing, and cooking fish.
"Dugan has always been kind of a weird kid." admits Charles. "I suppose I'm partially to blame for that, what being gone so often. It doesn't help that his mother enrolled him into those damn improv classes."
These words may seem a bit harsh, yet are remarkably accurate. Dugan is currently in between jobs, stating that he is heavily investing his time in a start up company that add a plaid pattern to any article of clothing. "You basically just mail us in whatever you want to make plaid, paying for your own shipping of course, and then in like 2 weeks we ship it back, plaid. That's as far as we've gotten so far." When asked about the process of how he intends to make the items have a plaid pattern, Dugan replied "I dunno, like dye it or something I guess."
"I think it's a pretty dumb idea" states Charles. "I feel a bit obligated to support him though, though I'd rather tell him it's really stupid what he's doin' and make him get a real job."
Back to the father/son weekend, things were going relatively smoothly until it came time for the fishing excursion. "Dugan seemed to be getting the hang of it at first, baiting the hook and casting a decent line." says Charles. "He started catching fish pretty quick, only problem was the size of what he was catching, each one was a measly 3 to 4 inches long, nothing to get excited about. He seemed so pleased with himself regardless, and it just got under my skin. " After a number of tiny catches Charles became fed up with Dugan's self satisfaction and pushed him over the side of the boat into the water. "It was a horrible thing to do, but I couldn't take it anymore. After listening to him ramble about his stupid plaid idea, and having to watch how incredibly unmanly of a person he was, I snapped. I completely forgot that he never learned how to swim. I'll admit, there was a split second where I thought about just leaving him there, and heading for Mexico or maybe Canada, starting a new life."
Charles pulled Dugan out of the water, and the remainder of the trip was full of awkward tension. "I don't know what got into Da-da that day, but it was definitely one of the most terrifying experiences of my life." Dugan confessed.
"I told him not to call me da-da" Charles expressed aggressively.
Dugan's plaid company has been surprisingly successful, and perhaps coincidentally Charles has gone completely bald and suffered several micro strokes. Could this be Karma? Or is it just a reaction to a lifetime of stress and frustration? Share your opinion with us in the comments below.
-Goggerson Tartbarker